A New Slaughter Iz Upon Us

In the realm of extreme metal there are none to stand in their way. It's pretty much a genre of its own. Since "Headbanger's Ball" started playing more extreme styles a long while ago it's caused the face of music to change forever. We have concerts like Ozzfest that came after Lollapalooza and now we have The Summer Slaughter Tour. Thanks to Ozzfest for opening the gates so that other tours could also get notoriety. Ozzfest is still pretty heavy though. Aside from their main bands Ozzfest also always has some underground heavies like "The Senseless". I love that band. The Summer Slaughter Tour is pretty heavy too. It's more Death Metal than anything from what I can tell but it's supposed to be a mix of heavy metal and death metal. The posters are seriously cool too. It's about time this happened. I mean we got the Warped Tour also for punk and stuff so why not death metal? Next thing you know there'll be an industrial metal tour. Or a goth tour. I like the sound of all of em' really. I do remember watching some early death metal on Headbanger's Ball so when I think about it it's not really a surprise that super heavy metal got big. I remember Morbid Angel and Sick Of It All and many others got their start on that show. So this was inevitable it seems. So how many hot chicks go to Summer Slaughter?

Guest Commentator FLESHCRAWL says: "Uh-oh! Zombie gonna get trampled!"

Drew Can Scream Good

Scream Queen #10. Finally! She's not the new Horror Girl but she could be easily. I thought she made a better fit as a scream queen. Drew Barrymore that is. She's got a good list of horror under her belt for sure. Now she's more of a comedy girl but that's o.k. I remember her from a long time ago though. Let's see; she was in "Poison Ivy" at the age of 18. I'm sure most guys know of that one and it's sequel starring Alyssa Milano, and it's other sequel starring Jaime Pressly. That series made em' all famous. They were all pretty hot back then. Hollywood likes taking young babes and bastardizing their innocence, lol. I like it too. Corrupt em'! Now back to Drew. I liked her a lot in... what was that movie... "Mad Love"? Yeah that was it. For those that might remember her in "E.T.", me not included, there were a lot of horror flicks back then she did. Like: "Altered States", "Firestarter", "Cat's Eye", "Waxwork II: Lost In Time", "Doppelganger", "Scream", and "Donnie Darko". If there's more then I'm not sure. That's pretty darn good though. You should remember her screaming in Scream. What happened in that movie? I think she runs upstairs, gets caught, and we see her disemboweled in the next scene. Whoah! I might have to watch "Guncrazy" again to make sure I saw it. Poison Ivy itself was also a horror movie. Not bad Drew.

Guest Commentator HARVESTER OF SORROW says: "My what a peach. She's with Satan now!"

Blind Ninja Daredevil

You guys remember that movie "Daredevil"? I think it had Ben Affleck as the star. He did an alright job but I thought this movie coulda been way better. It was just too comic style for me. That's not a bad thing usually but I had a hard time getting into the movie with Colin Farrell sporting a bulls-eye on his forehead and Michael Clarke Duncan being unusually strong without any reason to be. Jennifer Garner did a decent job though. I imagined this character, whether played by Ben Affleck or not, to be much gorier. You know, like those blind samurai flicks from the 80's. But gorier. The comic is totally dark and wicked in its atmosphere, and dripping with blood. I'm not gonna say it was horrible but I woulda made the blind swordsman more like that ninja in "Ninja Assassin". Even better; pit him against a ninja! And make it bloody as Hell. See who has stronger senses. That's actually a good test since ninjas are trained by depleting certain senses to make others stronger while the blind man does the same thing in a different way. Wow, that's a really good question. Who would win? About now you're all thinking of Rutger Hauer as the blind swordsman in "Blind Fury". There were other movies like that too but you'll have to search really hard to find them. What was the rating on this movie anyways? Put the ninja in Daredevil.

Guest Commentator BLOOD MISTRESS says: "Did someone say more blood? Yum!"

Are You Expendable?

Here it is finally for ya kiddies, "The Expendables" review. So this was directed by Sylvester Stallone and he stars in it. It's a dream team of mercenaries from other movies. Dolph Lundgren finally made it to the mainstream, lol. This is the sort of movie that people don't appreciate these days when they should. Look back on movies like "Commando" or "Predator" with Arnold Schwarzenegger and you can see just how popular the mercenary movies were. He ends up making a cameo in this movie but it should have been more! Bruce Willis made a cameo too but he ain't that out of it so his role shoulda been more too. Anyways; this movie was gorier than Commando and others in that time. It's got the action you wanna see but most will be a critic and say "it coulda been better". It was just fine the way it was. The only way you could make it any better is if you had even more gore, or insanely long shoot-outs like in "Heat". Or love scenes. Those always help. I still like it though. The story of a top secret team that can take out a whole army is just awesome. Maybe you had to be from that era to understand how cool these movies were. They're bringing that back in modern style. We don't have many kick butt action movies with rogue teams of soldiers doing things that our own army can't. Dolph played a sorta badguy, just like in "Universal Soldier", but he chose the right side in the end. The new "Rambo" was just as insane. Way to go Sly.

Guest Commentator QUEEN OF BLASPHEMY says: "5 against 300 leads to lots of blood!"

R.A.T. 9 - The Ultimate Machine

Versus Tek #34. I liked the sound of this since I first saw it. The "Cyborg R.A.T. 9" by Mad Catz. These days I haven't been able to get a lot of gaming in due to website maintenance but I plan on more gaming later so you have to get the goods to play like a pro. I know you're thinking a mouse is just a mouse but not so. This mouse is so customizable that it makes it the best option for a mouse out there. Not only that, but its wireless system comes with 2 custom rechargeable batteries that last 9 hours each! I hate batteries but this is great, the exception. In any other wireless software it's a headache. All wireless stuff should be made differently. Now the first thing I noticed was how this mouse looks like the new batmobile in "The Dark Knight". I'd probably end up using it as a toy with my army soldiers, lol. I like how you can change the sensitivity to make shooting games easier. You can even change the length, width, thumb rest position, height, weight; it's a dream come true. The best part is the profiles for each game to save your settings to specific games. Now this might not be the most important tool in your set if you're not a seasoned gaming veteran but the professional will know what to do with all that sweet customization. I've beaten 181 games, so yeah, you can tell I'd know what to do with this badboy.

Guest Commentator GOODBYE KITTY says: "Here mousy mousy... da kitty is hungry!"

Mythical Monsters Unite

Article #1,800! Need a new reason to travel for Thanksgiving? How about a mythical monster museum in Texas! That's the coolest thing since the pop tart. It's like a wax museum but of mythical monsters, how cool is that?! Whoever came up with that had a darn good idea. I doubt they serve Thanksgiving dinner but that won't stop you will it? You can eat later. What's your fave mythical monster? Troll? Ogre? Orc? Elf? I imagine there are more but I can't think of many except fairies or talking creatures of the forest. The beauty is in the uniqueness. I mean how many of these type of museums are there? Not many I tell ya. I wanna see a dragon! This is all brought to you by the fearless monster hunters Sir Daniel Raptus and Magnus Krane. They have a good number of beasties for your entertainment. It looks like the gift shop is still under construction. I need to go when that gift shop is done! They may have other creatures such as yetis, vampires, serpents, and who knows what else. They insist that they really captured these creatures so maybe it's a sort of containment unit, like the Ghostbusters. I've heard of medieval reenactment societies but never mythical beasts. When you're done here you can go and look for a good medieval dinner restaurant somewhere, if there is one. I'd definitely be taking pictures as proof.

Guest Commentator BRAINSUCKER says: "But will you ever make it out of the evil forest, hehehe?!"

Staying Fed In The Big Black

Deep space sounds scary in some ways. Maybe it's the lack of oxygen that makes it seem dangerous. I've seen several movies where Earth was used up and left for dead, polluted & destroyed, so people lived on a massive space station. The burning question is how long could they last? Where would the food come from? It's ironic but by the time anything that bad happens I bet they'll have perfected a materializer to make food appear like it does in "Star Trek", or some other high tech magic. That's about the only way you could go on for so long without turning back before you get to a point of no return. Otherwise, how would people get food? They could always genetically modify it on the ship to grow at a rapid rate. They could have beasts made for food that grow insanely quick. They could grow humans without heads to feed people. Or they could create a protein goop like they did in "The Matrix". Remember that stuff? It resembled the consistency of oatmeal with corn in it. Hopefully it tasted better than that. Could food be sent from another planet to the ship via the aforementioned technology? That would be sweet too. If all else fails they could just raise animals on the ship and keep them in high numbers to make sure they never have a shortage of food. The oddest idea would be to hunt in deep space.

Guest Commentator BLUE FIEND says: "Help; I'm stuck in the elevator again!"

Death Borg At Your Door

Well, Halloween has come and gone but I found the perfect costume. There could be many cool costumes so I gotta simply show one. This time I got a death cyborg outfit. You know you wanna be a death borg! It even comes complete with leather trench coat, right? Not sure, lol. That does complete the look though. So if you get the mask then you gotta get the leather trench coat and matching black clothes. Now this will only suit you as long as you don't have to show your face. If you need to talk to a chick at a party then you'll have to figure that one out yourself. I bet this would scare someone if you went to their door asking for candy. Oddly, kids don't really do that door to door candy search anymore. Or at least not in my neighborhood. I suppose that's what happens when paranoia comes to town. It sucks to think that a tradition that most of us grew up with would be gone for sake of safety. Everything is about safety now days. Well, there has to be some areas where they still do that. And if not then you can find a good party to go to and show off your duds. The cool thing is nobody can tell who you're looking at with this costume on. Just hope your friends don't have the same costume or else you could end up confusing someone. Costumes never go out of style. People just don't understand kids at all.

Guest Commentator CHROMESHINE says: "Great, now I need a leather trench coat!"

Loko's Can Of Doom

"Four Loko" kids, ya heard of it? It's loco man! Yeah, this drink was bound to happen ya know. I just didn't think it would be a bad thing. Who knew that you can't mix depressants with stimulants. It does sound like a weird mix I suppose but it has been done before, just not like this. For instance, Irish coffee; it's coffee with whiskey. I never heard o' no one dying off from drinking that. Maybe it has some bad effect though, possibly on the heart. Alcohol depresses your system, or heart function, while caffeine stimulates it. That could be considered a sort of possible danger if the amount was enough maybe. Four Loko is now banned in the U.S. I think, or it will be shortly. This reminds me of drinks that had massive amounts of sugar in em' like "Jolt". I go for drinks like Monster's lo-carb version. Using two legal drugs they've made a sort of speedball. In the drug world a speedball consists of exactly what you think, a depressant and a stimulant, very deadly. Who knows, maybe Irish are dying off in bars, lol, sounds like a joke. I've heard of people having coffee to come back from a drunk stupor but that's different cause' the caffeine is waking you up after being depressed by alcohol several hours before. This mix is unfortunately not going to work. Apparently there have been cases of people having heart attacks on it.The guy in this pick looks like he might have a heart attack too. True that, Loko really is loco.

Guest Commentator FLESHCRAWL says: "Loko make my eyes bleed man!"

The Phobia Is Back

This movie is quite different, "Phobia 2". Every now and then I like to branch out and watch a movie from a different country. This movie hails from Thailand. A lot of American movies are all gore lately so you can see the spark of interest in remaking ghost stories from other countries. I've always liked ghost stories but there aren't that many. In other countries, though, there are many. The movie is actually a collection of 5 short stories. I love anthologies ever since I was a kid reading anthologies of horror stories. Movies doing this don't usually get pushed to mainstream. There's no reason why they shouldn't but it's really up to what Hollywood wants us to see. In Thailand, this movie was seen by 15 million, which is the same turnout that "Transformers" got over there! They really like their ghost stories over there. I got into it since I'm into the "Ong Bak" trilogy. It's true that a lot of movies don't have suspense or scares anymore. America is so into blood now. A bloody movie won't necessarily scare you. Supernatural things like ghosts, hauntings, and demons are things that seem less plausible to some but it's no less plausible than the elf people in "Hellboy 2", good movie by the way. If you wanna see a good anthology with a kickass name then you should like this one. In cyberpunk horror, my realm, all things are plausible, even ghosts. It's just a matter of how you go about the details of how they exist. Thai zombies!

Guest Commentator X-RAY SALLY says: "I fear I may be addicted to fear!"

Skyline's Death From Above

Versus Movie #89. I feel compelled to write a review of this movie since I've read so many lame reviews on the net. "Skyline" is the movie. People are impressionable and jaded; they see reviews and decide to hate on it for no other reason than others saying it. I, on the other hand, choose to decide with the mindset of a young teen. I may not be a teen but I can remember what I liked back then and why. It's a good movie if you get past the fact that there isn't as much story as "Transformers", or as many locations for that matter. The EFX are on par and equal with rivals. I, being a cyberpunk, love the cyborg aliens that are part organic and part self-repairing  mechanized horror. They say it's like "Independence Day"; not at all. For one, that movie had hope. Did you notice the true hopelessness these people felt in this movie? You see what I mean. And just because someone shot a missile in that movie doesn't mean this is similar. In this movie they nuked the spaceship and it self-repaired itself after nuking the city! Awesome if you ask me! I love the action and alien designs a lot. As for story, well whaduya want? It works. "Cloverfield" hardly even showed the monster the whole movie. This was in-your-face gory action. Well done for PG-13 too. I don't usually say that. The ending built upon the hopelessness factor and gives a classic graphic novel type of ending that movies don't usually do because people want instant gratification. They want to see the aliens die. This is the formula that this movie breaks, yet people say it's a rip-off? I don't think so. Thumbs up. It's the kind of movie that people want to see but rarely gets made because Hollywood has made movies in a different way for so long, and this gets people used to that. The aliens in other movies were hardly even hostile. Some movies, like "The Monster Squad", opened to a modest number of viewers but became cult classics 20 years later. I'll watch this again because it has the action that the others don't. The monsters that others don't. And as far as budget, the first "Saw" took place in one room! You have to be the type of person that would like alien action in the vein of "Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem", the other movie by The Brothers Strause. I never even really thought about the acting that other reviews talk about; it didn't really bother me. When you want awesome alien action the story can deter from it. I never even thought about the story being limited. If the story is supposed to take place in one building then that's the way it's supposed to be. I don't think people know what they want. If it did have a different story and all that then it really would be a rip-off. The way it is, I think it worked great. When you hear about a signal being sent to space to reach aliens you have to realize that only aliens with radio technology could receive it. And what a horror to have this happen! Call me an optimist, but I love this sorta stuff. No other movie would make such cool hybrid cyborg horror aliens and take it to that level.

Guest Commentator BONE COLLECTOR says: "They take the brains, I take the bones!"

Ghosts Are Crafty

What is it about those ghost shows that we like so much? It's the fact that some places are indeed worthy of being haunted. I really wonder if maybe some things are unexplainable on purpose. Like, for instance, you have people going mad and saying they saw ghosts. Well other people will think this person is seeing things since he's mad right, but maybe the ghosts drove him mad on purpose so that nobody would ever know the difference. If that were true then those that see ghosts never keep their sanity long enough to tell the tale. Maybe ghosts are like reapers that only haunt those deserving of them. And if they're only visible to the victim then nobody would even know what to think. You know what I mean, like in some of those ghost movies like "Room 205" they have a ghost that makes the person do an action to end up accidentally killing him/herself inadvertently so nobody would be the wiser. Therefore nobody would know what really happened. In this way we would never know the truth because they're a little too carfeul to get caught. If that were true then something like "The Ghostbusters" would be hard to imagine. For that sort of reality to be real we'd have to be able to come in contact with them much more easily, and visibly as well. A reality like that would change the world as we know it forever.

Guest Commentator TOUGH GUY says: "That's a damn fine ghost, haunt me!"

Who Controls Us?

What do you suppose people dream about during R.E.M. sleep? That's rapid eye movement. There appears to be a massive amount of activity in the brain during this time. Ironically, this is also when you're in deep sleep so you wouldn't remember what you were dreaming about. Damn! Maybe it's better that way. I have a feeling the subconscious can have really surreal dreams that would never make sense to the conscious brain. I rarely ever remember my dreams. It's a prize to remember one. The way I do it is use an alarm clock. Make sure it's loud too. Then when you turn it off go back to sleep. You'll remember your dreams in this awake/asleep state better, if at all. It's cruel to do that to yourself though. It's almost creepy to think about the brain having huge surges of activity in deep sleep. What if they were nightmares? I see cats sleep and they're always shaking in their sleep. Why is that? Are they nightmares? That raises the question: are we being haunted? This could be a basis for supernatural means. Who would believe you though, nobody. What if nightmares were real? Maybe they are but we don't wake up in cold sweats with cuts on our arms from the likes of Freddy Krueger. Is there more to this than we think? What if all of the people in the world communicate with each other during this time and share a massive dream world, like a MMORPG or something? Does someone else control us?

Guest Commentator HARVESTER OF SORROW says: "I control your brain now, bwa hahaha!"

Alligator Steak Revelation

In truth, I had a feeling about this one. You see, I had some alligator steak the other night. It turns out that it looks like chicken when you cook it, kinda like chicken tenders to be exact. Except it tastes sort of fishy. Yeah, it's like fish with the texture of chicken! This totally threw me off. I was thinking about the implications of this. Do you realize what this means? It hit me like a rock. An alligator is a fish! I know how that sounds but think about it in terms of prehistoric times. Back then a fish very well could have been an alligator. Even sharks had heads like giant alligators back then. And dolphins used to be as big as buses with heads like enormous alligators. There's no doubt in my mind that I was eating an overgrown fish. It makes sense when you think about what they say came before the fish. They say early fish had grown appendages like arms and started walking. Have you ever had chicken that tastes like fish? Just imagine a fish with massive muscles and a tail much like older forms of fish. And they got those teeth like one of those killer fish monsters on "River Monsters" on T.V. You can't help but think of them as the Tyrannosaurus Rex of the fish world. They say they lasted millions of years without evolving but I think otherwise. If you go back far enough you can always find a predecessor. And when the supposed meteor hit Earth killing all the dinosaurs they could survive by hibernating for months.

Guest Commentator THE GRAVEROBBER says: Dammit, do not feed the hungry gators your relatives' corpses!"

The War Must Go On

This movie isn't quite cyberpunk but it is a fave of mine. "War Inc." is the name of the movie. John & Joan Cusack are both in this movie. They work pretty well together, just like in "Grosse Pointe Blank". I actually thought this was a sequel to the other. Nope. It's just a cool movie that came out with both of them in it. The idea is sorta the same as the other movie except on a greater scale. Instead of being a mere hitman like in Grosse John Cusack is working up to bigger and better things. It basically is sorta the same character as that movie except now he's in a middle eastern country trying to pull off a bigger hit. Through the process he's trying to protect a singer, played by Hilary Duff. She looks a lot different than she used to in a good way. It's funny how one second she's on Disney Channel and now she's all grown up. Sure seems quick. She looks good though. I liked her character in this movie. Everyone did a great acting job. This movie is a lot more entertaining than the prior mentioned one but it went straight to video. Go figure. The other may have had an edge with the story for comedy maybe. This movie is funny though. It's not a total comedy but neither was the other. Black comedy none the less. I thought it was better than Grosse but what ya gonna do? Ironic that they may have felt the amount of money the first made was a sign to make the sequel go straight to video and then it seems better. That doesn't happen too often.

Guest Commentator HARVESTER OF SORROW says: "War is good business for the enemy!"

Megan's Lean Demon Body

Horror Girl #33. We really like Megan Fox around here. I believe this is the 5th or 6th time I've written about her. They were articles for different movies though. Or her tats or some other reason. This time she's the new horror girl! Quite an honor Megan! I haven't really known her to be much of a horror girl in the past so this comes as a pleasant surprise since she does good in horror. I like her acting in "Jennifer's Body" a lot. Playing the high school slut musta been fun for her. Then the slut gets killed by Satanic rockstar cultists in a ritual to bring immortality, whoah! Nice idea, considering most of us can imagine those rockstars doing things like that. They fit the part. I think it's safe to say she was more or less similar to a vampire in this movie. Although, technically, she was possessed by a demon. No doubt many high school kids probably started using ouija boards to summon spirits after this came out. You might not know what to think of Megan if you're some nerd that thinks she's out of your league but the movie is really cool. She so happens to play that part too, the one we all wanted in school, the one out of our league. Yet, that type of girl would sleep with anyone. The hottie cheer slut, what a fantasy that was, lol. Many upon many horny kids will now be trying to get it on with cheerleaders that would never look at them.

Guest Commentator THE DARK PRINCE says: "Umm... yes, more of a demon than a vampire!"

Warlust Sports

I never was good at strategy games. That's what this looks like here. But I'm not here to talk about strategy games today. I was thinking about how a lot of sports seem to mimic what we see here, war. It's ironic, but we've gone from fighting wars to simulating them in sports. That was bound to happen since most wars were over land and all land has been taken by now obviously. We have no reason to fight wars anymore basically. Unless you count countries not liking each other. Some countries are still at war with others. So sports are the big medium for war fanatics in a way. You see how the players in football run at each other and have to try to break through to get to the other side. Well, now imagine a scene in a movie where warriors are running at other warriors, screaming with swords in their hands. It's almost all too uncanny. That's because that's what it's supposed to be like. It makes sense when you think about it too. The athletes would make the best warriors. So if there was a war the best ones to choose to go to the front lines would be those sports stars. That really makes me want to get in better shape because I'm no athlete. They have an edge that we never really thought about before. As for strategy games, well that's a whole other ballpark. Strategy does go into sports too though.

Guest Commentator CHROMESHINE says: "Ooh strategy games, my computer brain wins every time!"