Blast Em' All To Hell

What would you do if you had a portal gun? I imagine you could mess with the world much like a video game. That's insane to think those sort of things could be under way somewhere in some top secret science facility. This gun is a real life replica of the gun from the game "Portal" included in "The Orange Box" pack. Now the way that worked in the game was these portals led to the other portals you opened. So if you open one then the other is the exit, vice versa. Now these aren't the only type of portals out there. These ones are fairly harmless. Well, they are harmless. Other types of portals include ones that could lead to other dimensions. This could be either good or very, very bad. I like to think we're in a perfect world and if we go looking for a better one then we might find some alternate dimension. And you know how alternate dimensions always seem o.k. at first but then lead to something having been changed, like in "Sliders". Other types of portals could include ones that release bad things and bad things only. Or you could make a portal weapon. Or an anti-matter weapon, much like the one in "Doom". This is a technology that has many, many uses, and not all of them are good at all. What would I do with a portal gun? I'd set it to temporary invisibility and make myself invisible. Or give myself x-ray vision, temporarily of course, lol! You know, fun stuff like that. What would you do with one? Uh huh, that's why you don't have one.

Guest Commentator HARVESTER OF SORROW says: "I'll blast you to the 32nd dimension of pain and terror; that's what I'll do!"

Bloodsoaked Steamroller

Versus Music #50. It hits you like a steamroller. It's time to get "Bloodsoaked"! If you haven't heard of this band then you will. It happens to be a one man band! Yeah, no lie. He's in all his videos playing his guitar by himself. The crazy thing is he tried to hire a band but he never found anyone with the same passion as himself. So he took to making this insanely awesome death metal CD on his own. This guy is definitely talented too. The only people saying this isn't good death metal are the ones that are stuck on the one man band thing but the truth is if you didn't know that then you'd think this is some of the best death metal to come out in a long, long time. I went to the site and it says old school death metal but it really sounded new to me. It sounded really good too. I was so surprised. This guy has some cool vocals as well. It might be old school in the sense that it doesn't have any break downs or solos or the like. It's a total onslaught is what it is. The guitars and the vocals match each other very well for a good sound that I surprisingly haven't heard before. It's not as aggressive as say "Suffocation" but it does have its own sound. Almost like industrial strength death metal. It's a shock to see what one guy can do. He plays shows totally solo too. I can say I've been tempted to do such a thing before. Many of us have probably had dreams about doing that. It never lets up. This, to me, is some of the best death metal I've heard in quite a while. Notice band name in tat. Nice touch.

Guest Commentator BLOOD MISTRESS says: "Did someone say bloodsoaked? Mmmm... yummy!"

Left 4 Dead's Swarming Hordes

Versus Game #59. K, hopefully I haven't reviewed this game already, lol! "Left 4 Dead" came out on the Xbox 360, damn them! I'm a die-hard PS3 fan but I have to admit that they did a good job on this game. I love zombies and I love the hordes that come at you in this game. It's like nothing else in any other zombie game around. If "Resident Evil" progressed to this level then that would be one scary game indeed. They did have parts here and there that swarmed you, but not like this game! The graphics are good, maybe not as good as Resident Evil, but who's really paying attention. It's not always about the ultimate graphics. That will come with time. For now we have Left 4 Dead and we all like it the way it is. Another thing I really like about this game is how the zombies aren't silent. They sound mean in this one. They run too! What more could you ask for? The name says it all doesn't it? Can you imagine being 1 of 4 people left for dead in the middle of a zombie apocalypse? I can't really, since the military getting overrun is too wild. If that happened then we'd be in for it. I wonder how many people panicked when they first played this and realized the zombies weren't the walking, groaning, quiet types. This kinda took the genre of zombie games by surprise in many ways. Around here, we wait till games have been around forever and then finally review them if there aren't many badass games out at the moment. Here come the hordes!

Guest Commentator FLESHCRAWL says: "Zombies play this game better than humans!"

Beware The Future!

There are common themes in a lot of cyberpunk films and stories and if you look closely then you can find that there's more to it. Themes like "conformity" don't ring true with people these days because we don't really know what it means. I don't think we have enough people in this world yet to understand. Or maybe technology isn't fast enough. Or maybe this is a time of peace, despite the economy. In the future things could be the complete opposite. I sometimes wonder if I'll live to see real cyberpunk times and would I want to? That's a double edged sword. We always think that the grass is greener on the other side but then we get there and realize it's not what we thought. What does the future hold? Floating skateboards? Floating cars? Floating buildings? I'm o.k. with my CD's and my DVD's for now. The rush to end up in the download age is not for me. Everyone will need a huge hard drive when that age comes. In the future there will be good things and bad things. The teachings of cyberpunks has always been the fear of corporate rule. With corporate rule may someday come the end of small business. That's a big fear even today with the WTO, which is sort of necessary in its own way. Other bad things might be the government being taken over by corporations and run so as to make us "conform". What does that mean exactly? That's the scary part. We may not want to know. In times like that I'm sure we wouldn't want to conform and being "cyberpunk" might be a way of being normal. Mobs are simply evolving to become corporations so someday you won't be able to tell the difference between the good and bad guys.

Guest Commentator FATHER DIABOLICAL says: "Damn cyberpunks on their floating skateboards piss me off!"

Tron Brings Us Gifts

Versus Tek #35. Since the new "Tron: Legacy" came out there has been all types of gadgets coming out. I like this since it means a reason to make things that glow in the dark. This is not a review of the movie by the way, just the products. Kids all over the country have gone crazy for this movie. It's a worldwide phenomenon. I can see why too. It's able to take what seemed outdated and made a cool movie out of it. How lucky we should all be to be the son of a rich business owner. I bet the kid's a millionaire now, just like Batman. Why is it all the lucky guys in hero movies are billionaires? I'm sorta jealous now. But if I never get to be rich then I can at least have a cool Tron inspired gadget to get me by. There are some really cool ones too, as you can see here, including keyboards, headphones, Xbox 360 controllers, and much more. The Xbox 360 controller looks awesome with the glowing lines on it. They better come out with a game inspired by the movie now! I loved the first Tron game for the Xbox. If you didn't get a chance to play that one then you should do that and thank me later. It's worth it. Then when they come out with a movie game you can compare the two. I'm willing to bet, though, that this would be one movie game that lives up to the original and does better. I'll be buying all Tron merchandise no doubt.

Guest Commentator BLUE FIEND says: "Help! I'm stuck in the arcade! I don't wanna be digitized!"

Ironic Radiation Mystery

These stylish plastic glasses made me think of something. Yes, those are real glasses for sale. But I was thinking of the glowing green water inside of them. I've never actually seen glowing green water but that's what we all imagine radioactive nightmare water looking like. There are a lot of places in the world where radiation is a real scare and sometimes people do drink the water. What happens afterwards is usually death. What I want to know is if there are ever any good effects? I read about some town where women were supposedly growing large breasts due to local radiation. What a town that would be to live in. It is possible but hard to imagine. What if there was a town where radiation had a really good effect on the female population and made them all perfect? Someone would start to wonder why all the men are walking around town with their arm around the shoulders of a super babe. You never know. Milk was reported to have effects on women's breast growth due to growth hormones they put in the cows. What took effect was young females, like teens in school grew breasts earlier and became more attractive at a younger age. That would make a few people smile at the lunacy. Not sure if it was proven but I'm willing to believe that milk hormones from cows could do that. But could radiation do that? Possibly. A cancer is nothing more than an overgrown cell. This tends to happen when exposed to radiation.

Guest Commentator BONE COLLECTOR says: "You can thank me later!"

Carpenter's Brand Of Fright

Horror Girl #34. It is with great honor that I induct Charisma Carpenter into the Horror Girls. She's our newest one and she's a hottie. I've been a fan of hers for a long time way back when she was in "Buffy The Vampire Slayer". Of course I was also checking out Buffy and her little sister too! It's cool to see what happened after that show ended; each of those actresses getting their own movies. Charisma played the bitch on that Buffy show. She's good at playing the bitch. Makes you wonder if she really is one, lol, just kidding. She was also in the new movie "The Expendables" in case you didn't know. I like her horror work in the past. It's not the most horrifying horror but it is good work. They mostly deal with ghosts and things of the like. The taste in movies no doubt from working on a vampire series. I assume she likes things of a supernatural flare more. Her role in The Expendables was a bit part but that was a big movie. She could get more roles if she wanted to but I think she really likes the supernatural horror stuff, as do I. And go figure her work led her to posing in Playboy, very nice! I think if a woman doesn't do nude work she'll regret it later on. It's sort of a female right of passage. Might as well if you're not a naive schoolgirl anymore. She could afford to do more horror I think, and show your tits! After being in Playboy anything censored is a side dish. I'll be a fan of hers for a while me thinks. Is it just me or would she make a hot Catwoman (like Michelle Pfeiffer in "Batman Returns")? I think so! She's got charisma.

Guest Commentator THE DARK PRINCE says: "From vampire slayer to vampire lover, good girl Charisma!"

Nightmares Reach Deep

Is there anything to be learned from nightmares? I think there is. Not what you think though. To me nightmares are rather surreal and have nothing to do with anything but they may possess a key to other things. They do mirror what we think about most of the time in ways that are unrecognizable. Those unrecognizable paths lead to areas of the brain not used during waking hours. It's my belief that during sleep the spike in brain activity is caused by dormant parts of the brain that we don't normally use. These parts of the brain could cause activity that is abnormal, you could say. The activity is "not normal" to put it simple. This could be because of extra sensory powers. Extra sensory powers are what we would use to do ESP. ESP is what would be used to cause things to move, cause fires to start, read minds, crack codes, cause hallucinations, and much more. If we were able to unlock what we summon in our sleep then our waking minds could access parts of the brain that don't usually get used. Nightmares have a way of causing a spike in senses and reach deep into the 90% of the brain that helps cause dreams. Think about it, dreams are "like" hallucinations if they're strong enough. That is sort of a low level ESP at work. Other powers would be photographic memory or heightened math skills, etc.

Guest Commentator X-RAY SALLY says: "ESP does come in handy I tell you!"

The Walking Dead Like To Eat

You guys watching "The Walking Dead" on AMC? That is officially my new fave show. The production on this show is great. They really do show talent in this. The zombies look awesome. I haven't seen zombies this gruesome since "Dawn Of The Dead". There's even more gore in this show actually! I love the zombie crawling through the park without legs and her rib cage exposed. That's the best zombie carnage I've seen in a long time. The others are rather gory too. They don't hold back any punches for cable. The show still comes off like it's an AMC made show somehow but it doesn't lessen it in any way. This was based on a cool comic that I just recently found out about. Finding out that it's based on a comic makes it that much cooler. I am wondering what direction it's going to take later since it's leaving us with a beginning where the cop guy wakes up in the middle of this outbreak Hell. The first scene where he peeks through the door and he sees the woman with her skeleton gnarled to the bone was a shock but it drew me in. I like the tank scene too. Overall, it's better than I expected. The beginning was sorta slow but that created the cop banter/male bonding moment. This and "Rubicon" are really good to me. There are other shows too that have really made AMC a name to be reckoned with now. And it seems The Walking Dead had the biggest turnout of any T.V. show. Whoah!

Guest Commentator THE GRAVEROBBER says: "I just woke up. WTF! Was that a zombie?!"

T.V. Generation

It must be culture or something. They say America watches the most T.V. out of all the countries. That makes me wonder what other countries are doing then? Are they talking with family? Are they driving around? Are they partying? Are they studying? It's safe to say that America does take pride in its entertainment industry but that will help consumerism. So do other countries have less consumerism? Well, maybe, but if a given country has more people then they still end up on top even with less buying overall. It's the sheer magnitude of people that can keep a country strong even when consumerism is down. Our country just isn't packed to the gills yet. Now why do Americans watch so much T.V.? Are we all T.V. babies? They say that the kids in this country aren't as smart as they used to be; that other countries have finally surpassed us in education. What is it that ails us? Maybe it's the fact that other countries have more computers per household than us now. We used to be on top. So if we get enough computers out there then maybe kids will teach themselves to be smarter by interacting with computers. You know they start young on those computers now days. Too bad T.V. doesn't teach as well. Again, maybe it's just the population increase in other countries that gives the illusion of more computer use.

Guest Commentator BLUE FIEND says: "Hey, could I get a 50" T.V. in here?!"

In Search Of The Ningen

Have you heard of the "Ningen"? It's a supposed sea monster that lives around Japan. They say it has the body of a dolphin, or similar, with arms like a human. How odd? Those crazy Japanese come up with some weird things. I've heard about UFO sightings there too. Some people even videotaped them supposedly. Maybe all the cool stuff happens in Japan for all we know. America has been abandoned by the aliens! Come back! So what is this Ningen thing really? They say Ningen translates to human! That would be because of the arms they say it has. I love sea monsters so this was bound to peak my interest. Then I started thinking about how they did a lot of bomb testing around there many years ago. What if the radiation has affected the sea life in some way we never imagined? They've found a lot of weird fish in the past around those sort of areas so I'm thinking just how creepy this could be. They say that radiation could make a fish tail grow on your back so why couldn't a porpoise grow arms or a head-like shape? This leads back to how we and all animals share about 98% of the same DNA. But to think radiation could make one animal grow from another really does make us all seem like we're interconnected somehow. Will this be the start of a mermaid revolution? I want one!

Guest Commentator VIRGIN VIKING SLUT says: "I will tame the mighty Ningen with my blade!"

Life In Neon

For some reason I started thinking the other day about all the video games I play. And how before that I was into arcades. We were all into arcades for the longest time until one day... all the stores started getting more and more video games. Now there aren't as many arcades. I can't be the only one that's noticed this but it has struck me suddenly for some reason. It's sort of a shock to me. I loved the darkness of the arcades, and all their neon lights. In the local mall here we had one called "The Gold Mine" that actually looked like a real mine. There's still an arcade but now it's called "Tilt". O.K., so we still have an arcade but it just seems like they're harder to find to me. I never thought all these games I played at home would be the inevitable death of that. You can buy arcade games but they go for thousands of dollars. Or you could wait till a game goes to console and buy it for less than a hundred. I'm certain one day we won't have them anymore and that sorta scares me. Kids of the future will have no idea how cool they were cause' they'll all be playing games at home. Or maybe by sheer luck someone will start a new craze with much newer games in the arcades. Games that are available for consoles. In Seattle they have "Gameworks" and that's a huge arcade. It's no doubt that we love them to death.

Guest Commentator HARVESTER OF SORROW says: "I love the demonic glow and shadows!"

The Saw That Keeps Cutting

Versus Music #49. The "Saw VI" soundtrack is chock full of heavy stuff. I love it. Now keep in mind this isn't the soundtrack to the new "Saw 3-D". I saw the video on Youtube for this soundtrack and I thought it was supposed to be for the new movie but I didn't recognize any of the parts from it. A bit slow I was. Man, they even got "Hatebreed" on here. Good stuff. There's a good varied list of bands on this CD so you're getting into the whole spectrum of modern heavy music I'd say. You can tell it's a tad old, because "Type O Negative" is on here. The singer from that group killed himself recently. I still like it though. I remember back when they came out with "Black No. 1"; everyone loved that song. The others include "Mushroomhead", "Chimaira", "Converge", "Shadows Fall", and a lot of other good bands. Mainstream, sure, but really heavy mainstream. You can thank "Slipknot" for that. They started the whole super heavy radio song thing. They're not on here though. "Suicide Silence" is on here; they're a good crazy band. And yes there are many more. Well worth it. The only ones who would not like this are those that are into only underground death metal, lol. Nothing wrong with death metal but I like all kinds of stuff. Hell, most of my collection is death metal so trust me I don't dislike anything. Found this CD by accident really.

Guest Commentator BRAINSUCKER says: "Just leave them alone Jigsaw! You're killing them! Let me kill them!"

Unknown Monsters Of Feast

Versus Movie #90. If you saw this movie, "Feast", then you know that it was a feast for horror lovers indeed! It turns out that the people working on this movie were ones you'd never expect. For instance, Wes Craven, Ben Affleck, and Matt Damon. What a line-up that is! I think this was part of "Project Greenlight" season 3 on HBO. This project happened to be a amateur documentary/contest. So I watched this movie before even knowing that and I thought it was awesome as all Hell. Then I find out that it was made by amateurs? Wow is all I can say. That means it was made by film school students. Very nice work kids. Your career is about to go into the stratosphere after this. That makes me smile because I usually associate film schools with movies that aren't as good as this one. I mean it really was theater quality. Of course, it never got released in theaters. It should have been though. That would rock. I remember when it got put up on the shelves at Wal-Mart and I ate it up. The cover is very cool too, as seen in the movie poster. After this movie came out I recognized one of the guys from it in "30 Rock", the guy with the glasses and the hat. You know which one. As far as the help from the 3 names mentioned above, I think they did really good work. Who knew these types would be interested in this? Cool. And where did these monsters come from? Were they human in origin? I saw all 3 movies in the series and I can't figure that out. Gonna have to watch em' all over again.The second 2 have more style added to em'. They're all good.

Guest Commentator BLOOD MISTRESS says: "Don't let them puke on you. You'll rot alive!"

The Probiotic Arsenal

I can't be the only one that's noticed this. Have you guys noticed how probiotic products are popping up? They're the new trend lately. It does make me wonder though. Probiotics are something natural and they make these products with them in there like as if they came out of thin air. They didn't. No, in fact they came from food sources, namely raw milk. You see regular milk is supposedly devoid of all bacteria because of pasteurization. This process kills not only the bad, though, but also the good. That's not a good thing really. They say it's the only way for us to not get really sick but it's not true. There may not be outbreaks of old epidemics anymore but now we're all weaker than the last generation and dying off. Without the probiotics in there the milk is dead basically. They say that milk could be a cause of Crohn's now. Not likely. They're just trying to blame something to cover up something else. If that were true then the cow bacteria they say causes that would still be alive but neither good or bad bacteria is alive after pasteurization. If you don't drink enough milk and have bad habits that could cause Crohn's in the first place. It may make it worse but get this; raw milk could kill it fast! Think about it folks. That good bacteria is vital to our survival. They simply pasteurize milk and sell a different product with the good bacteria to make more money. It's typical consumerism. They're making us afraid on purpose to keep the wheels of consumerism turning as we get sicker and sicker. I don't really care for pasteurized milk but I drink it since I don't live near a vendor of raw milk, which only lasts about as long as the "dead" milk. The only difference is that when raw milk goes bad you can smell it. Some people still drink it after that time and this is what causes corporations to cover their asses. So now I buy a lot of kefir and make my own buttermilk. Just look at what happened to all the cows that got antibiotic shots; they got sick!

Guest Commentator FLESHCRAWL says: "Can probiotics make me human again?!"

Punks N' Thieves

In a world where anyone can be anyone how do you know who is who? You don't really. This is the new frontier for criminals of the future. They'll try to rip off people in virtual worlds. It sounds like a nerd criminal. Police will also be patrolling the cyber realms. Those bad guys that play "World Of Warcraft" will now take to taking your money in games with virtual worlds. This is about as cyberpunk as it gets now days. Things won't get much more advanced for a long time so who better to rip the criminals off than the cyberpunks. They're like criminals that rob criminals to give to the poor, like "Robin Hood". I wonder if it's started already? You have to be a very organized cyberpunk though to know who's a criminal and who's not. It all sounds like a game of some kind doesn't it? But it's not. This is the way it really could be. The problem is bad guys are going corporate now and getting more high tech so they're hiring techies to be security. It starts to come off like "Tron: Legacy" or something. It is true that you can't trust anyone online so why would we be so quick to trust others in a virtual world? I have enough to worry about with emails from Nigeria wanting me to launder money for royalty. Those fake Paypal emails are bothersome too. It could be fun though to take from the ones that take from others. Here you see pictured is a face of a cyborg. Good or bad, it's your choice. But the bad deserve to be ripped off. Police will go after cyber criminals but they won't go after cyber vigilantes. I saw an episode of CSI once where a perv hid trophies of his victims in a wooden shack in the woods in a virtual world. Inside the shack was a hall with pictures on each side picturing faces of the girls that he kidnapped. The cops found him this way and caught him. So don't think they're not online. They are, but they won't bother with cyberpunks that like to hassle low life, high tech scumbags.

Guest Commentator TOUGH GUY says: "Yeah, I could really use a mohawk and bolts screwed into my temples!"